Can it really be??

There is speculation in the New York Times today that the keynote speaker for the Democrat National Convention will be none other than the fake Cherokee herself, Elizabeth Warren. If this comes to pass, it will be a totally amazing turn of events. Can you imagine her speech?

My fellow Democrats, I am speaking to you tonight to emphasize the importance of trust. America must trust this party to do what is right for all of our people. America, you can trust us; we will always tell it like it is. Trust is the key. Okay, I did say that I was part native American to get hired at Penn and Harvard Law schools, but you can trust us. Okay, so I am not really a Cherokee, but my aunt did tell me that I had high cheekbones like "those people". Okay, so Audrey Hepburn had high cheekbones and she wasn't a Cherokee. She must have been Apache; yeah, Audrey is an Apache name. Okay, so I submitted recipes to Pow Wow Chow, a supposed cookbook of native American recipes and I used recipes from a French restaurant in New York City that was the favorite of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor. The duke had high cheekbones, though. My bet is the the duke and even his niece Queen Elizabeth II are actually native Americans. That's right, Queen Victoria was a full blooded Iroquois, so it is no wonder that her great grandson, the Duke of Windsor liked those recipes. And okay, I did tell everyone that I only said that I was a native American because I wanted to meet people at the native American mixers on campus. Of course, this turned out not to be true, but I would have liked to meet people with high cheek bones.

America you need to trust us to tell the truth. Besides, I do have Cherokee connections. When I decided to run against Scott Brown and his pickup truck, I sold my Volvo and my Lexus hybrid and I bought a Jeep Grand Cherokee. It has high cheekbones. I love it.