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Tuesday, May 21, 2019

The Joys Of Verizon

I hate dealing with Verizon Wireless.  The cell phone service is fine, but if you have to deal with these people, it is worse than going to the Department of Motor Vehicles.

About three days ago, my wife got a text message that said that our new bill was coming in a few days.  That was something new and something strange.  My wife told me about it and we decided to ignore it.

Yesterday, she got another message that said that the bill would be coming in the next day.  We were getting a countdown from Verizon as to when our bill would be sent.  I don't mind count downs for rocket launches, but for a Verizon Wireless bill it seemed like a bit of overkill, to say the least.

Last night at 1 in the morning, she got a text message saying that our bill was now ready.  It said we could sign in and see the bill.  It was bizarre to get a middle of the night missive from the phone company.  It made me wonder whether or not this was some sort of elaborate attempt to steal personal information.  We didn't click on the link.

This morning, I started the laborious process of contacting Verizon Wireless.  I tried to sign into the MyVerizon website.  We don't access this site often, so when I signed in Verizon told me that they didn't recognize my computer even though I had used the correct user ID and password.  They asked me to identify the city in which I met my wife.  I did that, but Verizon told me that I had given the wrong answer (I hadn't).  I had to reregister with a new password.

Getting the new password took about ten minutes.  First, I went through the entire process and Verizon wouldn't accept the new password.  They said it wasn't strong enough.  I tried again.  This time they accepted my selection although they did critique it and told me that it ought to be stronger. 

Once I had the new password, I tried to sign in.  This time they wanted to make sure that I was not a robot so they had me click on which of twelve pictures had an automobile in it.  They were small and somewhat blurry pictures.  I clicked correctly, but they then had me do the same thing to identify which pictures had bicycles in them.  Finally, I seemed to pass the test and I was actually going to be signed in to My Verizon.

Of course, the next thing that happened was that a message came up that said that the website was temporarily unavailable and that I should try again later.

Not wanting to give up, I decided to call Customer Service (or as the Verizon folks must have planned to call it Avoiding Service to Customers.)

I called and went through all the security.  I won't thrill you with the details, but it took 2 minutes to get through the computer notices and security.  Finally the computer asked me to describe in a few words why I was calling.  I said "problem with a bill."  The computer immediately told me that I could handle that best at My Verizon or on a text chat with their computer system.  I just said "representative".  The computer sent me a text message with a link to the computer chat.  I said representative.  The computer told me I should sign into my Verizon.  I said representative.  Finally, the computer voice said, "I understand that you wish to speak to a representative.  Is that correct?"  I said "yes" and just like that after only 15 minutes of effort I was going to speak to someone from Verizon.  Then the computer said "one moment while your call is connected."  That was followed by 8 minutes of music on hold interspersed with messages about how I could sign into My Verizon for faster service.

Finally, I got through to a live person.  I told her about the messages warning that a bill was coming and then announcing that a bill was ready.  I told her we had never chosen anything other than paper bills.  She said I should hold and she would check.  After a minute she told me we had automatically opted in to the billing process this way last week.  It seems that Verizon sent emails to customers who have paper billing and if you didn't reply that you wanted to keep paper bills, they changed you to paperless billing.  I was annoyed that Verizon was playing that sort of game, but it wasn't the fault of the woman to whom I was speaking, so I just said that I needed paper bills and asked if I could change back.  She said that could be done, but that we needed to go through a few security measures first.  That took another three minutes.  Then she said she had made the changes and that I would get a text message confirming them.  I got no message and told her.  She tried again.  This time SUCCESS!!!  I also confirmed with her that we would get a paper copy of the bill just sent by paperless methods.

All in all, it only took me a half hour to correct the sneaky attempt by Verizon Wireless to move our account to paperless billing.

As I said at the start of this post, I hate dealing with Verizon Wireless.

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