The Democrat debate starts in an hour. I don't know how many people will watch it; I can't imagine it will be too many. Still, we ought to make some predictions before it starts. Here they are:
1. Hillary Clinton will express displeasure because the other candidates have not been directed to bow before her and kiss her ring.
2. Bernie Sanders will come out in favor of confiscating all of the casinos in Las Vegas for redistribution to those who frequent Gamblers Anonymous.
3. Lincoln Chaffee will miss the first twenty minutes of the debate because he will get lost on his way down in the elevator from his hotel room.
4. Anderson Cooper will address today's revelation that he was a member of the Clinton Global Initiative. He will read a statement in which he will say "Hillary Clinton is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."
5. Dana Bash will ask a total of two questions, both to Martin O'Malley. After the debate ends she will be seen with blood coming from here eyes etc., looking for the director of the debate.
6. Hillary Clinton will stumble and fall off the platform behind her podium. Debbie Wasserman Schultz will announce that Clinton made the fall look incredibly graceful.
7. At the end of the debate, the cameras will do a close up on Hillary walking off the stage. Donald Trump will live tweet, "That is huge!"
8. Jim Webb will start his opening remarks by asking "Who am I and why am I here?"
9. When asked about here time as secretary of state and the Russian reset, Syria policy, global warming, the Trans-Pacific Partnership, and the involvement of the Clinton Family Foundation with each, Hillary Clinton will explain that everything that went wrong in those areas was the result of the vast right-wing conspiracy of the Republicans.
10. During the two hour debate, the rate of suicide across America will increase to 57 times normal.
11. There will be a sigh of relief upon the conclusion of the debate that will be heard as far away as Montreal, Canada.
1. Hillary Clinton will express displeasure because the other candidates have not been directed to bow before her and kiss her ring.
2. Bernie Sanders will come out in favor of confiscating all of the casinos in Las Vegas for redistribution to those who frequent Gamblers Anonymous.
3. Lincoln Chaffee will miss the first twenty minutes of the debate because he will get lost on his way down in the elevator from his hotel room.
4. Anderson Cooper will address today's revelation that he was a member of the Clinton Global Initiative. He will read a statement in which he will say "Hillary Clinton is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."
5. Dana Bash will ask a total of two questions, both to Martin O'Malley. After the debate ends she will be seen with blood coming from here eyes etc., looking for the director of the debate.
6. Hillary Clinton will stumble and fall off the platform behind her podium. Debbie Wasserman Schultz will announce that Clinton made the fall look incredibly graceful.
7. At the end of the debate, the cameras will do a close up on Hillary walking off the stage. Donald Trump will live tweet, "That is huge!"
8. Jim Webb will start his opening remarks by asking "Who am I and why am I here?"
9. When asked about here time as secretary of state and the Russian reset, Syria policy, global warming, the Trans-Pacific Partnership, and the involvement of the Clinton Family Foundation with each, Hillary Clinton will explain that everything that went wrong in those areas was the result of the vast right-wing conspiracy of the Republicans.
10. During the two hour debate, the rate of suicide across America will increase to 57 times normal.
11. There will be a sigh of relief upon the conclusion of the debate that will be heard as far away as Montreal, Canada.
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